~Written and intended to post on November 13th, it didn’t feel appropriate given the intentional shock received that day. So, paused. Went deep. Deeper still. Cleared as much personal debris that came to awareness…much on my own, some truly tenacious contractual muck with the expert help of the gifted Sienna Lea and the phenomenal Shadow Genesis group, as well as the remarkable Carla Fox.
Mid-November on through the new year is always filled with family birthdays, traditional holidays, and work events galore. Add into the mix this year, a mid-December/mid-week, 3-day termite tenting event that had my kitchen and all living things packed up against the toxic fumigant, and a pet-friendly 2-night stay at local lodging. Six weeks I’ve looked forward to these past few days of relative calm and quiet…with absolute relish.
I’m going to say it straight up…what many, if not most, of us mean when we say “purpose” is really right livelihood. It’s more than doing, it’s the marriage of being and doing…unifying the two into one seamless expression that fills our hearts and our tummies; that meets our need to contribute along with our need for food, shelter, clothing, and warmth (physical and emotional). In our right place, we are content, fulfilled, happy beings. The Dobedobedooo, bedobedobe… crooners might secretively have meant when they sang enticingly*…hints at the essence.
Sounds a lot like where we might have each originated.
Think of it. If we were experiencing there what we are here, then why would we have ever come? Same poodoo, different locale?…but,wait…let’s add density, just for fun! Nope. Not seeing it. It’s the duality. The high contrast we came to experience. If that is the case, then it must be that we came from a place of unity (not oneness; but, uniqueness with unity) and low contrast. Taking it one step further, wouldn’t it then make sense that we didn’t come to experience low contrast? We all have done a boatload of stuff we haven’t wanted, and been someone who we aren’t, haven’t we. For some (or many), we reach the end of our rope with that experience and turn towards reclaiming who we are, and really looking at what it is we yearn for. Even if we don’t know what it is, the yearning is there.
Getting to right livelihood has been something of a bear. We’ve perceived that our ‘purpose’ dictates how we make our living; how we are supported by life in this construct. What if it doesn’t?
There are those of us who have blazing talent, fire in their belly, and still cannot find their way through the matrix maze to actually make a sustainable living at it. The matrix is not the most authenticity-friendly place, obviously. Of course, there are those who did find their way to a comfortable living within the matrix, yet what might they have had to relinquish? The machine seems to capture many of the so-called ‘best and brightest’, doesn’t it, taking from all disciplines. Far fewer are those who pierced the matrix and have come through on the other side to quite literally ‘have it all’…the dobedobedo…. These are the trail-blazers.
I dare say, most fall in the realm of those who have some discernable talent, yet don’t have a clear avenue of expressing it. While still others haven’t the faintest at what they’re good at, much less any fire that would light the way to a meaningful livelihood.
Bottom line: we want both. We need both. Meaning and sustenance.
From the oddest places sometimes come the clearest messages. Is it because we aren’t expecting it, so we actually hear it? No mind engaged to critically listen to what’s being presented, perhaps?
Little more than a year ago, I was doing my best, over long distance, to console a dear friend having difficuties at work compounded by an unexpected and tragic loss. I called on a Sunday morning. He’d been flipping channels and landed on a tv preacher. “What channel?” grabbing the remote and tuning in. Not my thing, but I was willing to listen in and be there in love. As the sermon was already underway, I didn’t have a clear context, and that was okay. What he said that I heard deeply was, “Your mess is your message.”
Ka-pow! what a completely different perspective is that! Not focusing on talents or gifts, but scars! Imagine that! Those I have….
What mess have we each found ourselves in…the worst one. The one that shaped us into that moment of reclaiming our soul sovereignty? What fear did we face? What dragon/demon did we slay (with the sword of truth, courage, fierceness, even love)?
Have you recognized a theme in your life? A certain current of repetition that keeps tripping you up…coming back around again? That thing is yours to resolve, not just for you, but for the collective. I’m talking either integrating the fragment(s) or concluding your contract with it/them and releasing the trapped energy. We’re doing it for ourselves, our family heredity and genetics (yes, they are different and not necessarily influenced in the same way), and our greater social patterning that keeps us enslaved. Each pebble in the pond ripples out containing your message.
There came a point when I began questioning the influence of the 80s and Marianne Williamson’s iconic question: Who are We Not to Be Great?
Great just seems such a word of that time. Big hair. Big shoulderpads. Big lapels. Like the feminist movement pushed for each and every woman to prove to one and all that she could do it all. Superwoman. And men had to keep up or be eclipsed. Supermen. Look who that served. Burnt. Fried. Shattered. We felt the truth of her statement…feel it still…and, yet, we need a better definition of what great might mean.
Fact is, most of us will not ever be immortalized in history books as great. The word references achievement of a certain stature, and success of a certain measure that all agree is significantly above the standard. I fell for it. I kept looking for what I might do that would resonate within me, and be so powerful as to make a massive difference to so many people that I could feel I’d reached my ‘potential’ for greatness. What a fools journey, I must say. I was so naïve. So trusting. So blinded by programming. Bleeeeet.
I recognized this in action when my son joined youth sports. All the little guys out there were trying their best to be the superstars they saw on t.v. They hadn’t even learned the fundamentals, yet! But they felt bigger than their wee bodies. Each knew he had it in him. Greatness. Why wasn’t it happening? Results weren’t immediate and more often than not, nowhere near the mark. Still closer to their connection with origin, being that young, the frustration at not instantly calling forth their intention was clear for all to see.
What those boys felt, what I felt, what we each feel, is the immenseness of our essence…not greatness, but immenseness.
What to do with that? Where to go from there?
Let’s bring it back to now, shall we? Taking from the adage (where did all those fantastic old sayings go, by the way?) it’s not so much what you say, but how you say it, might it also be true that it’s not so much what you do, but how you do it…? I’m not talking about an attitude adjustment for a lousy situation. I’m talking about tackling the impediments to your authentic expression from the inside out, while allowing for the life adjustments to unfold as a reflection of you!
Back to the pebble in the pond. The pebble that is most itself, not a conglomerate of varying substances or impurities, ripples out truer and farther, energetically. Our purpose, then, really begins with authenticity and expands outward concentrically which, in turn, comes to reflect us more accurately. We move closer to right livelihood, as it moves closer to us, the more each is a resonant match. Argh, right? We just want it now and get on with things, like living!
Considering your mess, what story would you tell about it? Have you gained wisdom from it? How might you share it? You may have more than one mess. Which one, once you get talking about it, is hard to stop…the one which, if you had a magic wand, you would want everyone to know how to do, or not do. What stumbling blocks might you save someone else from falling into, by sharing your experience?
Do not kid yourself that no one will listen. The awakening is well underway, and the small number of awakened are quickening in the scope of their/your/our understanding. We all have a sphere of influence, even if it’s not yet visible. We made contracts for this. We honor each other in our sharing.
Meanwhile, make a list of 10 things you would absolutely need were you stranded on a desert island; or, otherwise in every day life, you simply cannot live without. Herein are clues to your right livelihood. Mine include fountain pens, supreme paper, flowers, books…. I never thought them important because I didn’t know what to do with them. I always had them, so never really looked at them.
Our strengths, be it primarily with our hands, our heart, or our head (kinesthetic, emotional, logical) are the basis of our right livelihood. We lead with one, back it up with another, and the third is our weakness lying in the shadows to bring to light and ultimately into balanced health.
Undeveloped strengths might also be lurking in the shadows, buried under fear of what might happen/who we might actually be if we flexed and stretched and breathed into them. Shadow Genesis brought to light my fear of power. Having experienced abuse of power (and who hasn’t? this or other lifetimes/genetically/hereditarily), I mistakenly thought it best to leave it alone, never conceiving that in not claiming my personal power, I was actually abusing it through neglect!
So, whatever’s on your list, select anything you’d do without hesitation if you had an hour or two free to spend. Begin it as a pastime if that is the most immediate avenue. Get good and resonance follows.
Yes, we have a purpose — we’re here at this time to awaken and usher in the new paradigm through being. I am certain I did not come to witness catastrophe. That is a big No, Thank You, No You May Not, I Do Not Agree Nor Consent from moi. This is our fundamental purpose.
Our contribution comes through living our strength expressed in right livelihood — we don’t even have to change jobs/vocations/disciplines! we can…we may…but it’s in the being our strength that dials us into the doing. The expression is from the inside outward.
I’ll pull together all the methods and resources I’ve come across and utilized and pop it in the Tools link above. And, because I know the searing frustration with getting to the answer of this topic, if anyone fancies a skype chat for clarity, let’s! Sometimes an objective eye is just what we need. We’re past suffering in silence. Life is too precious, yes?
May 2016 see you growing clarity, strength, and cohesive expression!
Much love to 2015 and all who have enriched my life <3!
(*with thanks to Gerry @ contributiveenergy.rocks for pointing out that awesome tidbit!).
photo credit pending
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